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The only [as far as we know] complete listing of the Rules of Acquisition on the internet...
A Brilliant Run-Down of Human Politcal-Economic Philosophy
 
 
 
Rule 1
Once you have their money, you never give it back
Rule 2
You can't cheat an honest customer, but it never hurts to try
Rule 3
Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to
Rule 4
A woman wearing clothes is like a man in the kitchen
Rule 5
If you can't break a contract, bend it
Rule 6
Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity
Rule 7
Keep your ears open
Rule 8
Small print leads to large risk
Rule 9
Opportunity plus instinct equals profit
Rule 10
Greed is eternal
Rule 11
Even if it's free you always buy it cheaper
Rule 12
Anything worth selling is worth selling twice
Rule 13
Anything worth doing is worth doing for money
Rule 14
Anything stolen is pure profit
Rule 15
Acting stupid is often smart
Rule 16
A deal is a deal, until a better one comes along
Rule 17
A contract is a contract is a contract. But only between Ferengi
Rule 18
A Frerengi without profit is no Ferengi at all
Rule 19
Satisfaction is not guaranteed
Rule 20
When the customer is sweating, turn up the heat
Rule 21
Never place friendship above profit
Rule 22
A wise man can hear profit in the wind
Rule 23
Nothing is more important than your health, except for your money
Rule 24
Money can never replace dignity
Rule 25
There always a way out
Rule 26
As the customers go, so goes the wise profiteer
Rule 27
There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman
Rule 28
Morality is always defined by those in power
Rule 29
When some one says "It's not the money," they're lying
Rule 30
Talk is cheap; synthehol costs money
Rule 31
Never make fun of a Frengi's mother: insult something he cares about instead
Rule 32
Be careful what you sell. It may do exactly what the customer expects
Rule 33
It never hurts to suck up to the boss
Rule 34
War is good for business
Rule 35
Peace is good for business
Rule 36
Too many Ferengi can't laugh at themselves any more
Rule 37
You can always buy back a lost reputation
Rule 38
Free advertising is cheap
Rule 39
Friendship is temporary; profit is forever
Rule 40
She can touch your lobes but never your latinum
Rule 41
Profit is its own reward
Rule 42
What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine too
Rule 43
Caressing an ear is often more forceful than pointing a weapon
Rule 44
Never confuse wisdom with luck
Rule 45
Expand or die
Rule 46
Make your shop easy to find
Rule 47
Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own
Rule 48
The bigger the smile the sharper the knife
Rule 49
Old age and greed will always overcome youth and talent
Rule 50
Gratitude can bring on generosity
Rule 51
Never admit a mistake if there's someone else to blame
Rule 52
Never ask when you can take
Rule 53
Never trust anybody taller than you
Rule 54
Rate divided by time equals profit ("The velocity of wealth")
Rule 55
Take joy from profit, and profit from joy
Rule 56
Pursue profit; women come later
Rule 57
Good customers are as rare as latinum
Rule 58
There is no substitute for success
Rule 59
Free advice is seldom cheap
Rule 60
Keep your lies consistent
Rule 61
Never buy what can be stolen
Rule 62
The riskier the road the greater the profit
Rule 63
Work is the best therapy -- at least for your employees
Rule 64
Rule 65
Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff
Rule 66
Rule 67
Rule 68
Ear stroking will get you anything
Rule 69
Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races
Rule 70
Get the money first, then let the buyers worry about collecting the merchandise
Rule 71
Always lie to the Minister of Information
Rule 72
Never trust your customers
Rule 73
If it get you profit, sell your own mother
Rule 74
Knowledge equals profit
Rule 75
Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum
Rule 76
Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies
Rule 77
If you break it you bought it
Rule 78
Rule 79
Beware the Vulcan greed for knowledge
Rule 80
Rule 81
Rule 82
The flimsier the product, the higher the price
Rule 83
Rule 84
Rule 85
Never let the competition know what you're thinking
Rule 86
Rule 87
Learn the customer's weaknesses, so that you can better take advantage of him
Rule 88
It ain't over till it's over
Rule 89
Ask not what your profits can do for you, but ask what you can do for your profits
Rule 90
Rule 91
Rule 92
There are many paths to profit
Rule 93
Rule 94
Females and finances don't mix
Rule 95
Expand or Die
Rule 96
Act without delay! The sharp knife cuts quickly.
Rule 97
Enough is never enough
Rule 98
Every man has his price
Rule 99
Trust is the biggest liability of all
Rule 100
Rule 101
The only value of a collectible is what you can get somebody else to pay for it
Rule 102
Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever
Rule 103
Sleep can interfere with opportunity
Rule 104
Faith moves mountains… of inventory
Rule 105
Rule 106
There is no honor in poverty
Rule 107
Rule 108
Rule 109
Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack
Rule 110
Exploitation begins at home
Rule 111
Treat people in your debt like family: exploit them
Rule 112
Never have sex with the boss' daughter
Rule 113
Always have sex with the boss
Rule 114
Rule 115
Rule 116
There's always a catch
Rule 117
Rule 118
Rule 119
Never judge a customer by the size of his wallet
Rule 120
Rule 121
Everything is for sale, even friendship
Rule 122
Rule 123
Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum
Rule 124
Count it
Rule 125
You can't make a deal if you're dead
Rule 126
Rule 127
Rule 128
Rule 129
Rule 130
Rule 131
Rule 132
Rule 133
Rule 134
Rule 135
Never trust a beneficiary
Rule 136
Rule 137
Rule 138
Rule 139
Wives serve; brothers inherit
Rule 140
The answer to quick and easy profit is: buy for less, sell for more
Rule 141
Only fools pay retail
Rule 142
Rule 143
Rule 144
There's nothing wrong with charity, as long as it winds up in your pocket
Rule 145
Rule 146
Necessity is the mother of invention. Profit is its father
Rule 147
People love the bartender
Rule 148
Rule 149
Rule 150
Rule 151
Rule 152
Rule 153
Sell the sizzle, not the steak
Rule 154
Rule 155
Rule 156
Rule 157
Rule 158
Rule 159
Rule 160
Rule 161
Rule 162
Even in the worst of times, some one turns a profit
Rule 163
Rule 164
Rule 165
Rule 166
Rule 167
Rule 168
Whisper your way to success
Rule 169
Competition and fair play are mutually exclusive
Rule 170
Rule 171
Rule 172
If you can sell it, don't hestitate to steal it.
Rule 173
A man is only worth the sum of his possessions
Rule 174
Rule 175
Rule 176
Rule 177
Know you enemies, but do business with them always
Rule 178
Rule 179
Rule 180
Rule 181
Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit
Rule 182
Rule 183
When life hands you ungaberries, make detergent
Rule 184
A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves (and 191)
Rule 185
Rule 186
Rule 187
Rule 188
Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit (also cited as 181)
Rule 189
Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money
Rule 190
Hear all; trust nothing
Rule 191
A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves
Rule 192
Never cheat a Klingon, unless you are sure you can get away with it
Rule 193
Trouble comes in threes
Rule 194
It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door
Rule 195
Rule 196
Rule 197
Rule 198
Rule 199
Location, location, location
Rule 200
If you're going to have to endure, make yourself comfortable
Rule 201
Rule 202
The justification of profit is profit
Rule 203
New customers are like razor-backed Greeworms worms; they can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back
Rule 204
Rule 205
Rule 206
Rule 207
Rule 208
Sometimes the only more dangerous than a question is an answer
Rule 209
Rule 210
Rule 211
Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success; never hesitate to step on them
Rule 212
Never give away for free what can be sold
Rule 213
If you don't know what you're doing, make it up as you go
Rule 214
Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach
Rule 215
Rule 216
Never gamble with an empath
Rule 217
You can't free a fish from water
Rule 218
Sometimes what you get for free costs entirely too much
Rule 219
Always know what you're buying
Rule 220
Rule 221
Rule 222
Rule 223
Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox
Rule 224
Rule 225
Rule 226
Rule 227
If that's what's written, then that's what's written
Rule 228
Rule 229
Latinum lasts longer than lust
Rule 230
Rule 231
Rule 232
Rule 233
Rule 234
Rule 235
Duck; Death is tall
Rule 236
You can't buy fate
Rule 237
Rule 238
Rule 239
Never be afraid to mislabel a product
Rule 240
Time, like latinum, is a highly limited commodity
Rule 241
Rule 242
More is good, all is better
Rule 243
Rule 244
Rule 245
Rule 246
Rule 247
Rule 248
Rule 249
Rule 250
Rule 251
Rule 252
Rule 253
Rule 254
Rule 255
A wife is a luxury, a smart accountant is a necessity
Rule 256
Rule 257
Rule 258
Rule 259
Rule 260
Rule 261
A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience
Rule 262
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on
Rule 263
Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum
Rule 264
Rule 265
The customer is always right, until you get their cash
Rule 266
When in doubt, lie
Rule 267
Rule 268
Rule 269
Never trust a merchant who insists on using their own scales
Rule 270
Rule 271
Rule 272
Rule 273
Rule 274
Rule 275
Rule 276
Rule 277
Rule 278
Rule 279
Rule 280
If it ain't broke, don't fix it
Rule 281
Rule 282
Rule 283
Rule 284
Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi
Rule 285
No good deed ever goes unpunished
Rule 285a
A good deed is its own reward (Rom)
Rule 286
When Morn leaves, it's all over (Quark's Rule)
 
The Unwritten Rule -- When no appropriate rule applies, make one up
 
The Rules of Acquisition come from the Human story-telling sandbox known as Star Trek (created by the brilliant Human story teller Gene Roddenberry and property of Paramount Pictures. Star Trek is an interesting piece of sociology in itself, and the back-story of how Paramount tried for years (and years) to "kill" Star Trek, but were unable to do so, is also an interesting study in Human social stratification, power flows and the bashing of certain types of story, and those who love those stories.

It's also interesting to note, inspite of the alleged "geekness" and "too intellectual" nature of Star Trek, the imposing number of basic science flaws it embraces (enthusiastically) in the its background as well as its stories.
 
 
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